Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
