He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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