she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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