I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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