Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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