the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
