pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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