I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
