no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I got inside last night via doggy door
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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