Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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