he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
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Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
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Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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