Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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