I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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