That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
