Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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