happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
