How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
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