Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
