Small penises have feelings too.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
