Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
