I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
The feeling are messing with the penis
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
