His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
