My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
