That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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