just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
