Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
