My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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