i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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