i permit you to call me
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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