This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
