So drunk, too bad you don't want this
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Your penis caused this!
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
