Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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