I have demons in me.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
