I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
It's Friday. Sex?
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
