break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
