Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
