I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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