I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize