i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
i wish my penis had a tongue
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize