so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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