In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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