Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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