I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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