You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Randomize
