Whod you bang
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
