i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Randomize
