I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
