i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
