im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
My boob is missing a layer of skin
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
