well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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