He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize