You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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