Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
