He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
You smell like stripper and shame
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
