P.S. I can't hear my feet
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
