Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
