I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
