new low.... made out with someone while peeing
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
