girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
