True but thats because hes a fetus.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize