There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
