God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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